


desire is no light thing

by problematiclesbian



Series: self indulgent rejanis fics [3]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Post-Canon, does janis have a regina-specific praise kink? i don't want to talk about it, im not gonna tag everything like you can see the rating is explicit right?, rejanis fucks!, they're both twenty one, they're gonna fuck ladies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-19 00:00:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17590919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/problematiclesbian/pseuds/problematiclesbian
Summary: The next words come to Janis easily. It’s all so obvious.This night was decided the moment Regina walked into the bar and said her name.“Well then, what do you want?”To answer, Regina reaches down and drags one hand up Janis’s thigh.





	desire is no light thing

**Author's Note:**

> don't say i never did anything for ya  
> if you're just here for the sex and not the drama, only read the section between the lines breaks

Janis is alone.

Granted, it is the one bar in this town, and it is two days before Christmas, but still. The sagging tinsel and faded lights strung behind the bar do little to improve Janis’s mood.

She’s sitting in a booth, facing the opposite wall so she doesn’t have to see anyone who might enter the bar. Damian isn’t coming back until Monday, and there’s no one else Janis wants to see right now. An old song is playing on the speakers, and the bartender has finally got the hint that Janis doesn’t want to talk.

Janis taps one fingernail on the greasy tabletop and eyes her glass, trying to decide if she should finish her drink or just head home. There’s something in her gut that stops her, tells her to stay a while more.

She hears the door chime but doesn’t look up until a figure stops next to her.

“Well, if it isn’t Janis Sarkisian.”

Janis would know that voice anywhere.

Fuck it. She drains the glass for courage before she turns.

It’s like seeing a drunken hallucination after years of stone cold sobriety. “Regina George. What’s a mean girl like you doing in a nice place like this?”

Regina chuckles at that, sets her purse on the table, though Janis made no move to invite her to sit. She slides into the booth across from Janis with purpose, as if tonight she’d meant to end up at a shitty bar with her high school ex-friend/ex-enemy after not seeing each other for three years.

Janis had always envied that about her. Regina had the uncanny ability to always be included, to always fit in, while Janis always stuck out, never quite belonging. Janis had learned to embrace her uniqueness after a while, but still. She kind of hates the way her teenage insecurities flood back as soon as she arrives home, as if she’s made no progress since she left this town. God, she needs another drink.

“I’m home for the winter break.” Regina explains as the bartender brings over a glass of wine without her needing to order. “And there’s not much to do around here. I assume that’s why you’re here, too.”

Janis nods. It’s been good to see her mom again, but other than that, being back around all these memories of childhood is… not pleasant. She break out of her introspection to hear Regina ask why they haven’t seen each other around town since graduation.

“Well, I wasn’t here over the summer. I stayed with my,” Janis only hesitates for a second, “girlfriend.”

Regina’s expression doesn’t change. She sips from her wine, and, just as she puts the glass down, says, “Me too.”

There’s a shift in the air between them.

Janis is torn between laughing out loud or storming out. “You date women now.” Her voice is flat; it’s supposed to be a question, but it doesn’t come out that way.

Regina takes another delicate sip. “Exclusively.”

“That’s fucking- of course you do. Of course.” Janis’s laugh comes out bitter. She turns and signals to the bartender for another drink.

Regina seems surprised by this reaction. “You didn’t know? I assumed you could… tell.”

Janis shakes her head, accepting the beer from the bartender. “That’s why you outed me, huh? It all makes sense now.”

“Please. Didn’t we already do all the sappy apologies senior year?” Regina waves her glass in the air, the wine sloshing the sides, as if to dismiss all the complications of their past.

Janis looks over her former best friend and worst enemy and tries to summon up some anger, resentment or something, but it’s not there. In its place, she finds an unexpected tremor of possibility.

“Yeah, I guess we did.” She takes a pull from the bottle. “Why aren’t you with her this year?”

“We broke up.” Regina says with a shrug.

Janis nods, ignoring the pure shot of relief that hits her at those words. “Same. So how’s life as a dyke treating you?”

Regina grimaces with distaste at Janis’s phrasing. “Better than this shitty town ever did.” She tosses her hair and Janis is hit with a wave of nostalgia.

They make small talk, a foot apart, hands resting inches apart on the sticky bar table. It would be so easy to leave, to feign a phone call and disappear out the nondescript bar door and continue on with her life the way Janis has been living for the last three years- a life without Regina George. But she doesn’t.

Instead, Janis leans closer with every word, bites her lip just to watch Regina’s eyes follow the movement. The way Regina gazes at her- it feels like they’re on the brink of something, but of what, Janis can’t say.

It has something to do with the heat that’s flowing between them, the way the air feels electrified and sharp, the whole world at a precise focus that Janis hasn’t felt since… well, since the last time she saw Regina George. She feels magnetic, pulled towards the blonde like lightning, and Janis remembers the feeling, the way trying to resist Regina is like fighting gravity- in the end, she always falls.  

At a pause in the conversation, Regina’s gaze flickers from Janis’s eyes to her lips one more, and everything slides into place.

For the first time, she knows just what to say. “You know, Cady’s in town. If you’re looking for someone to hang out with.”

Regina sets down her glass and stares at Janis, her eyes dark; the predator ready for the hunt. “That’s not really what I want right now.”

The next words come to Janis easily. It’s all so _obvious_.

This night was decided the moment Regina walked into the bar and said her name.

“Well then, what do you want?”

To answer, Regina reaches down and drags one hand up Janis’s thigh.

And Janis smiles.

 

* * *

 

Janis watches the street lights pass, one blurring into the next, as Regina drives.

It’s an anticipatory silence, the gap between them, where words should be, filled instead with promise.

When they reach the hotel, Janis struggles to unbuckle her seat belt. Her hands are trembling.

“Here.” Regina, passenger side door open, reaches across her chest, and unbuckles it for her. Is it her imagination or did Regina’s voice get lower?

Regina takes her hand as they cross into the hotel, not sparing the staff a second glance as she pulls Janis along to the elevators. Her heart is beating so loud, she almost expects someone to stop them, to question them they way her own mind is. Is she really going to do this? It’s not that she doesn’t want to- Janis can barely admit to herself how much she wants Regina George, even after all these years- but the voice in the back of her head warns her that this could be it: the one thing from which their friendship can never recover.

Regina studies Janis’s expression as the elevator doors close and draws the wrong conclusion. She lets go of Janis’s hand.  

“We don’t have to do anything.” The gentleness in her voice grounds Janis in the moment, gives her clarity.

“I know.” She replies simply, and she takes Regina’s hand again.

The elevator door opens.

The edges of Janis’s vision feel blurred and out of focus, she’s so concentrated on the woman in front of her, the way Regina’s hair falls across her neck just so, the crinkles around Regina’s eyes as she smiles at Janis while unlocking the door.

Then they’re inside. Alone.

Janis opens her mouth to say something, anything, to break the tension in the room, but Regina stops her.

Stops her by pressing against the door and kissing her, hard. It’s almost embarrassing, the pleased noise that leaves Janis’s mouth and allows Regina to slip in her tongue, deepening the kiss. Regina moves with no hesitation, the movements of a woman who knows exactly what she wants. Janis is putty in her hands, melting immediately under Regina’s capable touch. She forgets to pretend, forgets to act like letting Regina George touch her isn’t her wildest dream, forgets that there was ever a moment where Janis wanted anything other than the feeling of Regina’s body against her own. Kissing her feels so _right_ , so perfect, in a way Janis hasn’t felt with any other woman.

Regina does something with her tongue and Janis feels her knees buckle, only her grip on Regina keeping her upright. She would say something about moving to the bed, but now that she’s kissing Regina, the idea of stopping, even for a second, is unthinkable.

The trip from the doorway to the bed is slow, broken up by the chaotic process of stripping each other of their layers of clothes. Both of them refuse to break the kiss, Regina’s hands fumbling with the buttons on Janis’s shirt while Janis claws at the zipper on Regina’s jeans.

“Eager much?”

“You’re the one who jumped me as soon as we came in.” Janis reminds her, and there’s something vicious and primal and satisfying about the whole thing, the way Regina’s desire for Janis is so apparent, so unhindered by her usual smirks and condescending looks. Janis feels the thrill deep in her bones.

When Janis’s legs hit the bed, Regina shoves her backwards, and Janis would be offended with the rough treatment if it wasn’t exactly what she wanted. Regina crawls up the bed, eyes blazing, and Janis can only think: _apex predator_.

She’s always know Regina is hot, in the same way she knows the sky is blue or water is wet, an abstract concept. But seeing Regina like this, panting, flushed and bare above her, makes Janis’s head spin. It’s kind of like every fantasy teenage Janis ever had has manifested in front of her, better than she could’ve possibly dreamed.

“Are you going to stare all night or are you going to do something?” Regina smirks like she knows what she’s thinking, and Janis feels her lust matched by her annoyance.

“Do you have to be so hot, yet so irritating?” She mumbles, just before she leans up and bites at Regina’s neck, drawing a satisfying gasp from the woman above her.

“Shut up and fuck me, Sarkisian.”

Janis should’ve known Regina wouldn’t give up her power for even a second. Regina grasps at Janis’s hips and rolls them over so Janis is on top, then tangles her fingers in Janis’s hair and pushes her head downwards.

In retaliation, Janis starts leaving a trail of bite marks along Regina’s chest, reveling in the little noises she draws from Regina each time.

“God, hurry up.” Regina snaps from somewhere above her.  

“What do you-”

“I want your tongue inside me. Do you think you can manage that?”

She knows that sharp, biting tone. Janis wishes she could feel hate well up inside her, wishes she could drown herself in the smooth chill of anger until she’s frozen solid and untouchable, until this is just another fuck that she can forget about tomorrow.

But Regina growls instructions at her and she’s nothing but turned on, wet and desperate and wanting, and she wants to hate herself for that, but she’s busy. Busy doing exactly what Regina George asks, sort of like she used to when they were kids, because there’s nothing, _nothing_ , like the hot rush of pleasure she gets when Regina is pleased with her.

So Regina pushes her down, down, and Janis complies, leaving marks down Regina’s chest as she goes, Janis’s nails digging into her hips (and a small part of Janis hopes it hurts), until she’s sliding her tongue through Regina’s folds and is graced with Regina finally shutting up.

Janis shudders at the first taste of Regina on her tongue and she knows she should be afraid, because it would be so easy to get addicted to it; if there’s one thing Janis Sarkisian will never do again, it’s be obsessed with Regina George.

It’s incredible though, the electricity that runs through Janis as Regina arches above her, Janis’s hand gripping her ass, the gratification of feeling just how wet Regina George is for _her_ , Janis Sarkisian, as Janis licks another broad stripe up Regina’s cunt before sliding two fingers inside her. Regina swears, loud and uninhibited, as Janis scissors her fingers inside her while she sucks on her clit, and Janis wants to memorize the sound of Regina gasping her name. It’s intoxicating and Janis is acutely aware of how wet she is now, the inside of her thighs slick with it, all because of Regina fucking George. She redoubles her efforts, fucks Regina like this is the last time she ever will, which it may as well be.

It all peaks in a blissful climax, Regina’s nails sharp against Janis’s shoulders as she comes, shaking and swearing and the most beautiful Janis has ever seen her.

It feels a thousand times better than revenge ever could.

When Regina catches her breath, Janis starts to get nervous. She feels the old anxieties rise in her chest.

“You don’t have to…. I mean, it’s fine-”

Regina cuts her off with a filthy, wet kiss, shifting on top of her.

“Like you haven’t been ready for it since we got in here.”

Janis wants to argue, really, she does, but every word she's ever known flies straight out of her head as Regina moves, sucks a hickey onto her throat, high enough that Janis is sure people will see it tomorrow, just as she’s sure that is Regina’s intent. Janis feels Regina’s smirk against her neck as she tries to bite back a moan while Regina runs her hands down her breasts, and why is her body so _sensitive_ all of the sudden?

Every press of Regina’s hands feels like fire, every brush of her lips makes Janis shake, and when Regina drags her teeth around Janis’s nipple, Janis throws one hand up to her mouth, biting down to stop herself from letting out an obscene noise. She won’t give Regina the satisfaction, even though it’s otherwise very apparent how much Janis is enjoying this.

Regina pulls back from where she was sucking a mark into Janis’s breast, her eyes ravening. “Don’t do that.” She commands, and fuck if that doesn’t make Janis that much more turned on. “I want to hear you.”

How the fuck is Janis supposed to stay quiet after that? She writhes at Regina’s touch, frantic and wanting after just a matter of minutes. Regina trails her nails on the inside of Janis’s thigh and Janis cants her hips upwards, trying to get the pressure she needs, the pressure Regina is withholding on purpose.

“Fuck you.” Janis hisses, twisting under Regina’s grip. She’s not going to admit how hot she finds bossy Regina.

“I will if you ask nicely.”

“You’re such a-” Janis whimpers as Regina drags her nails a little more pointedly. “-bitch.”

“Should I stop then?” Regina pulls back and starts to sit up.

She’s not going to beg, she’s not going to beg, she’s not going to-

“Fuck, fine, please Regina, just fuck me already!” Janis grasps at Regina’s toned shoulders and pulls her back to her.

Regina bares her teeth in a Queen of Beasts’ smile and pushes two fingers into Janis.

“Fuck!” That’s the last full word Janis is able to form. After that, it’s all gasps and incoherent moans as Regina George takes what’s hers.

Regina fucks her hard and fast, slipping in a third finger with that determined, confident air that she’s always had, setting a relentless pace that sparks pleasure all through Janis’s body, Regina's mouth biting and sucking at her chest while her hands bring Janis right to the edge. Nothing has ever felt this extreme and erotic and Janis barely has time for this thought to register before Regina curls her fingers just so, just as she presses her thumb to Janis’s clit and then Janis isn’t thinking at all as she comes harder than she ever has, yelling Regina George’s name.

Regina keeps her fingers inside Janis until the trembling dies down, and then crawls up to kiss Janis fiercely.

Janis, still panting, turns on her side to face the blonde holding her loosely in her arms.

“Jesus Christ.”

Regina is smug as hell. “Am I the best you’ve ever had? Admit it.”

Janis gives a little shrug, her breasts brushing Regina’s as she does, and is rewarded with Regina’s eyes blowing that much wider. “I don’t know… I think you can do better than that.”

Good thing Regina loves a challenge.

*

*

When they’re finally worn out, hours later, Regina curls around Janis, their bodies slotted together, no space between them. “You know…. I’m glad I went to the bar tonight.” Regina murmurs as she drifts off, and the way she says it sounds like a confession.

Janis agrees. She feels _complete_. Like something has been missing, all this time, and she’s has finally found it in the form of a soft, satisfied Regina holding her close.

Janis traces her fingers along Regina’s wrist once more before she falls asleep, her mouth curved in a silent smile.

 

* * *

 

When she wakes up, morning light is peeking through the curtains and she’s curled against Regina’s chest. The events of the night before flash in her mind, and Janis blushes as she recalls. She gently eases herself out of Regina’s arms, pausing to brush back an errant strand of blonde hair, studying her lover’s peaceful expression.

Janis feels her heart clench, the swell of emotions she feels when she looks at Regina George just as strong as they’d been three years ago, just as strong as it’s always been.

But does Regina feel that? Was Janis just another woman in her bed? She thinks about the way Regina looked at her last night, like she was the only person Regina could ever want.

But Janis also thinks about her pride, about how much time she’s already spent trying to get over Regina George, and so she starts collecting her clothes off the floor, dressing silently.

They go to schools in different states, Janis reminds herself, and Regina was just home for winter break. She’s kidding herself if she thinks Regina wanted anything more than a one night stand. Hell, they went three years without speaking to each other. Did Janis spend a lot of that time wondering how Regina was doing? Sure, but that doesn’t mean Regina was doing the same.

She can’t stay and let Regina break her heart again. She just can’t.

Janis hesitates at the door for only a moment.

She turns and finds Regina awake, watching her from the bed, and her breath catches in her throat.

They study each other for a moment.

Janis raises an eyebrow, waits to see if Regina will stop her. A challenge.

Regina gazes back, daring Janis to say something, to step back inside.

Silence.

Janis steps out of the room, shutting the door behind her, trying to forget the look in Regina’s eyes.

Just like that, she’s alone again. She walks down the hall, exits the hotel.

Janis doesn’t look back.  

 

* * *

 

“You seem different.” Damian says, something like approval in his voice when she sees him later that week, but he doesn’t press her on the issue. She exchanges Hanukkah gifts with her mom, goes to brunch with Cady and Aaron, keeps the bruises on her neck covered. The rest of her break passes without incident.

And without Regina.

She flies back to New York with Damian asleep in the seat beside her, watches the lights of the towns below and tries not to wonder where Regina is right now. Or what she’s doing.

Or who she’s with.

Classes start again, a flurry of activity and cold weather. It’s the same people, the same city, nothing has changed.

So Janis hates how she feels lost and discontent. She keeps looking over her shoulder as if she’s expecting someone. Keeps reaching for a hand that isn’t there. Nothing’s changed, so why does she feel so _empty_?

She knows the answer to that question like she knows the placement of every bruise on her neck, long after the hickies fade.

How simple it would be, to text Cady or Gretchen, or Karen and ask for her number? How straightforward, to search for her on social media, to look up her name. But Janis doesn’t.

She dreams of her, of her gasps and the brush of her lips on her skin, the glint in her eyes and the sound of her voice in her ear.

She falls into bed with other women and she fucks them and she doesn’t let them touch her and she goes back to her apartment and she cries.  

But she doesn’t call.

 

* * *

 

It’s cold this morning, the clouds hovering in the air, warning of snow. Her breath comes out like smoke, swirling above her as Janis hurries to the art building.

She spends hours in the studio, painting blue eyes that follow her in her dreams, abstract sketches of the form of a woman that Janis cannot forget.

There’s something different about today, that same instinct that made Janis stay at the bar that night. Janis lets herself paint freely, lets the canvas take the shape of the blonde who’s been on her mind for weeks, haunting her.

Across the room, her phone vibrates, just once, and her eyes snap to it, the prickly sensation of anticipation crawling down her spine.

When Janis can stand it no longer, she puts down her paintbrush, picks up the phone like she’s handling a live bomb.

One new message.

Her hand trembles. She opens it.

 **[Unknown]:** _I’ll be home all summer._

And Janis smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> me as i publish this: i can’t read suddenly i don’t know  
> title is from autobiography of red by anne carson


End file.
